MEB does a good ponytail

While I am not totally ready to retract the ‘observations’ shared with you in ‘The Girls Guide to Living in Chicago’ (which may or may not have been slightly embellished as I am told I have a flair for the drama) I do want to point out that MEB did truly redeem himself this past weekend, once again warranting a blog post dedicated solely to him…okay, well maybe me too.

How did he bounce back from sending his girlfriend out in the wilds of Chicago to wrestle a skunk all by herself, or for leaving her to shovel 3-feet of snow with a torn up glove and a hole in her boot you ask? Simple, by tackling the one thing us ‘ear breathers’ hold dear, the ponytail. (And no, I am not writing this under duress… MEB is long gone, once again leaving me here, alone, with a useless watchdog, to fend for myself. Kisses!)

Damn gatorade bottle

After getting up close and personal with the pavement on York Road the other week I am operating one arm short of a pair. Many things that I used to take for granted now pose a challenge, (opening that damn bottle of Gatorade that has been calling my name for five long days, tying my shoe, peeling the dog off the mailman, zippers, showers, buttons, fixing the bed, commenting on facebook, my job…) the most critical to my well being however, that ponytail. I mean who am I if not a ponytail wearing only child with imaginary friends??

Yes, with surgery looming, MEB came to be by my side (so romantic!). As you are well aware MEB is an Engineer (well duh!), but what you may not know is that he is also a professional shopper, toenail polisher AND big fan of both “The Hills” and “Gossip Girl”. As a result, I figured that building the aforementioned ponytail “just like Lauren Conrads” was going to be second nature for MEB. While it clearly wasn’t, MEB is nothing if he is not persistent, so with the same resolve that he displayed when trying to convince yours truly to watch “Arrested Development” he exhibited in the pursuit of the perfect ponytail.

The following details the evolution of this pony.

Friday morning. The “Pre-op Pony”: Spending the week totally scared to death that my hand surgery would lead to just that, death, (yeah, so what if I spent a little too much time watching ER growing up… I love you Dr. Carter!!!) I was determined to “look good” going under the knife. I showered, dried my hair, put on my favorite chapstick, my best (mens) green zip front sweatshirt and elastic pants. Yeah, I looked h-o-t. Ready to go ‘clubbin’….or something. Heck, I figured if I was going out, I was going out in style. At this point my hand was still mobile enough to provide some assistance getting that pony on my head so I consider this more of a training exercise then anything. MEB paid very close attention and took notes with his favorite Hello Kitty pen.

Saturday afternoon. The “Post Op Pony”: Having survived general anesthesia and a night of arguing with Myles over the pillow used to prop up my hand, the “Pre Op Pony” was now in a knot at the back of my neck. With a hot date at Panera to break up a day otherwise spent in bed feeling sorry for myself, I needed to do something with my hair ASAP. With some heavy coaching MEB was able to get some semblance of a pony on my head. Granted it wasn’t winning any awards but yeah, it wasn’t the worst.

Sunday sometime. The Penultimate Pony: Yeah, I can’t think of a story for this one. I mean honestly there are only so many ways you can spin a story about a ponytail but the point is he got better, if only slightly.

Monday. I wore a baseball cap. No pony needed but I did catch MEB practicing on the dog.

Tuesday afternoon: The Perpetual Pony: This was the one that had to go the distance. Somehow this ponytail had the responsibility of lasting the four weeks that MEB was in sunny California while his gimpy girlfriend, “The Claw”, was subsisting on food she could eat with a spoon and/or have fed to her by the dog. This time MEB decided to fly solo with no assistance from yours truly. Passable, no doubt, even his friends were impressed.

Yeah, truth be told this “Perpetual Pony” went south by sundown but I actually decided to take it as a sign that it was time for me to shower. Is that too much information for a blog post? What do I do now you ask? After researching several options, including the living the next x weeks in a swim cap I have swallowed my pride and started dragging myself to the gym every morning, scrunchie in hand, and asking people in the women’s locker room to do my hair. Pathetic I know.

laff out loud.

A special shout out to all those who kept me in their facebook status’ and twitter posts over the past weeks. Also to “Uncle Dave”, the anesthesiologist, for providing an excellent explanation of what ‘goes down’ when you go under the knife. Even though Ma Self, the art teacher, would like to someday have the opportunity to explain to you how anesthesia really works I am going to go out on a limb here and stand by your description. Oh, and yeah, thanks Ma Self for the tub of laffy taffy. Yes, I agree, someday we will all ‘laff’ about this one, very creative.